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computer nerd jokes

If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, you’ll probably have to barium. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. Here are funny computer jokes and puns. Logical. What's your favorite nerdy joke? You won’t need blue light glasses for these computer jokes and IT jokes. How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb? A graduated cylinder. They always make me smile. We have the jocks, the goth, and so on. A horrible date can turn into a treasured memory. Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates! Vote: share joke My attitude isn't bad. Some helium floats into a bar. Everyone’s a nerd inside. You can always see different groups of people gathered in the schoolyard. Infect yourself with 50 hilarious geeky one-line jokes. In fact, a real zinger of a joke delivered right could get you hired - don’t quote me. NERD JOKES . The second asks for half a beer. Note: This article first appeared on this blog back in 2010, and we slightly touched up the jokes … The one with the lowest mew. A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. The fourth begins to order an eighth of a beer but the bartender cuts him off: He pours two beers and goes to help other customers. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! And if you’re looking for even more geeky content, be sure to check out how developers obsess about code names and the history of computer data storage in pictures. It takes screenshots. It's healthy and contagious. What’s the best way to learn about computers? Or people with questionable senses of humor. Share. Perfect for geeks and people in IT. 80 Jokes for Computer Nerds and the Rest of Us My computer jokes are grouped into 12, yes 12, sections on this page. Read the best and funny computer jokes, computer science jokes, computer geek jokes and computer jokes for kids only on Jokerz. So I’ve been searching for some of the best computer nerd jokes I can find and today I offer you 21 of the best. So I’ve been searching for some of the best computer nerd jokes I can find and today I offer you 21 of the best. The largest collection of IT one-line jokes in the world. A computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the brakes gave out. Oct 24, 2018 - Explore Janine Lucas's board "Nerd Humor", followed by 116 people on Pinterest. To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door that says, "COMPUTER NERDS NOT ALLOWED - ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!" If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. See TOP 10 nerd jokes from collection of 49 jokes rated by visitors. More jokes about: computer, IT, nerd, technology If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux? Without them, we would not have the technology we have today, iPhones, cars, computer and so on. ). Do you know the name Pavlov? For … We are adding a one-click tweet button with every one-liner for you to be able to quickly share them on Twitter. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. The largest collection of IT one-line jokes in the world. Because all proper tea is theft. Tech One Liners: Some things Man was never meant to know. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates! Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. Research and experiments are part of the science life. Don't worry honey, they call it my dual-channel RAM. They would thank you. There are only 10 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't. All sorted from the best by our visitors. A Dell. Nerd Season A truck driver, hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers, stops for a beer. You might be a computer nerd if you can’t get up in the middle of the night to go use the bathroom without checking your email! What is a computer’s favorite animal? Posted by 9 years ago. He wanted to tell his young child some core life … How does a computer get drunk? The wife asks him: “Why the heck did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”. Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. Absolutely hillarious IT one-liners! A group of protesters in front of a physics lab: There are two kittens on a sloped roof. It’s down to its last quarter. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. Absolutely hillarious IT one-liners! The longer you've been working with computers, the more … Stupid jokes can turn a frown upside down. The Computer Nerd and His Apprentice. If you enjoyed this page, you may also like: Computer Geek Jokes Harry Potter Jokes Physics Pick Up Lines Engineering Pick Up Lines Math Jokes Technology Yo Mama Jokes Jokes About Chemistry Math Pick Up Lines Science Fiction Nerd … Also check out our other funny jokes categories. A wife asks her husband, who is a software engineer: “Could you please go shopping for me and buy 1 carton of milk. The first asks for a beer. A computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the brakes gave out. im not procrastinating, im, not, procrastinating, procastinating, procrastinator, … They all got … A: NaH Q: Why can't cats work on the computer? You’ve found one Newton per square meter. Ahhh, life… isn’t it amazing? Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium hydride? Log in. And if they have eggs, get 6!”. 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get by@pavel.malos 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get Originally published by Pavel Malos on September 18th 2017 193,482 reads Two – one to hold the light bulb and one to rotate the universe. *Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics … Next time your coworkers are telling their favorite jokes around the water cooler you'll be more than prepared to wow them with one of these zingers. The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. Bit by bit. This post was made from a Reddit thread that asked users what the most intellectual joke they knew was. The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one.”. The longer you've been working with computers, the more you'll enjoy this. They just change the standard to darkness. Bartender replies: “For you, no charge”. They always make me smile. I do love computer nerd jokes. Oct 28, 2019 - A little computer humor to lighten up your day. These jokes don’t just poke fun and Nerds/Geeks (yes you!) 100 characters remaining. Enjoy *Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too. In fact, a real zinger of a joke delivered right could get you hired - don’t quote me. He’s sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to a side. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door that says, "COMPUTER NERDS NOT ALLOWED - ENTER AT … Laugh at 20 really funny nerd jokes. it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware. The first asks for a beer. I didn’t even know they were Catholic. but are generally just jokes about geek topics e.g. So be ye an IT geek, a linguist geek, a general know-it-all or simply enjoy a bit of a mental stretch in your jokes, welcome! How do you know if a blonde has been using a computer? Share these funny nerd jokes on social media, Three logicians walk into a bar. See TOP 10 IT one liners. Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. It might seem stale or boring, but scientists often […] Read … Nerd Season A truck driver, hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers, stops for a beer. Q: How does a network administrator nerd greet people who come to his house? One of them says: “Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”. Baby you're so cute you made my page 404. The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. Descartes says “I think not” and disappears. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. We won’t bite unless we’re angry. The funniest nerd jokes only! There are only 10 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't. Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross … A: They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Computer Nerd Jokes. So, I have a story about a wise old computing nerd and his new technological apprentice. … If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net on a 14.4k dial up connection. Archived. Which one slides off first? Helium In A Bar. Geek Jokes and Sayings. The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” The helium doesn’t react. Meet funny computer Rednecks and disgruntled computers. There’s whiteout on the screen. 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get [email protected] 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get Originally published by Pavel Malos on September 18th 2017 193,482 reads The second asks for half a beer. ... computer science computer nerd computer programming computer virus computer mouse. Sure, some jokes do come with their fair share of cringe. Use your power of observation and take a look at some of these brilliant and nerdy puns that only scientists would understand. He wanted to tell his young child some core life morals, as well as teach about old technology. The third asks for a quarter beer. They screamed down the mountain, gaining speed, and finally managed to grind to a halt, more by luck than anything else, just inches from a thousand-foot drop to jagged rocks. The fourth is begins to order an eighth of a beer but the … For everything else, there’s Google. See more ideas about computer humor, computer jokes, humor. Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10, then opens them. The third asks for a quarter beer. Liked these funny nerd jokes? Tech One Liners: Some things Man was never meant to know. Are you a computer whiz? Book. Enjoy our collection of funny, geeky, tech, programmer and computer jokes below and make sure to share them with friends and family. Ahhh, life… isn’t it amazing? See more ideas about Humor, Nerd humor, Bones funny. Baby you're so cute you made my page 404. But stupid jokes are generally kryptonite to boring social situations. Like. It's in beta. You'll hear from the help desk, Dr. Seuss, and famous people in the computer business. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ’Take what you want!’” The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice. Enjoy our collection of funny, geeky, tech, programmer and computer jokes below and make sure to share them with friends and family. Sure, some jokes do come with their fair share of cringe. ). None. Descartes walks into a bar. 2. We are adding a one-click tweet button with every one-liner for you to be able to quickly share them on Twitter. Check out some awesome accounting jokes or funny math jokes. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.” Geeks are cool, nobody could disprove it since the Big Bang Theory. Related Categories. A RAM. “Don’t you mean a martini?” asks the bartender. They are very click-y. it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware. Here are some funny nerd jokes that all of us self-professed geeks will find not just funny, but useful as well. Send us a message. Pascal is nowhere to be seen. Why is it hard to make friends with computer nerds? They all got out of the car. They screamed down the mountain, gaining speed, and finally managed to grind to a halt, more by luck than anything else, just inches from a thousand-foot drop to jagged rocks. A horrible date can turn into a treasured memory. computers, the Internet, phones (not android obviously!). You’ve found Pascal!”. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. The husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity. Here are some great nerd jokes about computer nerds, plus dirty jokes and a lot of other funny nerdy shit. What do you call an educated tube? Do you know the band 1023 megabytes? I do love computer nerd jokes. NERD JOKES . During our search to find the funniest video game jokes and memes online, we ran into a problem. Logical. Well, ok, there aren’t really ‘too’ many, just too many to keep up to date and organized. You may also enjoy some funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of really funny acronyms. Computer Jokes. Clever puns and funny jokes are scientifically proven to make you laugh (or maybe cringe). Here are some great nerd jokes about computer nerds, plus dirty jokes and a lot of other funny nerdy shit. It’s virtually impossible to confirm their origins or their authors, but should anyone be able to advise then please do let me know. Get it because it has lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes for nerds. What's your favorite nerdy joke? << See All of Our Pick Up Line Categories Here! Dreary work parties can suddenly turn into super fun. Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Then why not share them with your friends? Are you a computer whiz? It rings a bell. Stupid jokes can turn a frown upside down. Close. Two atoms are walking along. You'll hear from the help desk, Dr. Seuss, and famous people in the computer business. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Meet funny computer Rednecks and disgruntled computers. Funny computer geek tech support programming coding Mac Apple Linux Tux gaming Minecraft T shirts Shirts Tshirts Tees Gifts You'll find your favorite funny techie geek T-shirts and gifts here from tech support programming coding Mac Apple Linux Tux gaming Minecraft Nintendo Pokemon Atari and more. Computer techs have skilled fingers if you know what I mean. It's healthy and contagious. Einstein says: “Newton, you’re terrible, I’ve found you!”, Newton says: “No no, Einy. << See All of our Jokes Categories Here! Funny Computer Joke – 8. The Computer Nerd and His Apprentice. So, we’ve decided to list the best gamer jokes we’ve found each year in three different formats. Dreary work parties can suddenly turn into super fun. But stupid jokes … Computer Nerd Jokes. Have you heard about the sick chemist? 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes 63 Really Funny Star Wars Jokes 77 Best Funny Love Quotes 20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines 25 Really Funny Harry Potter Jokes 30 Funniest One Liner Jokes 27 Best President Jokes 20 Best Banker Jokes Kevin Hart Funny Quotes. Infect yourself with 50 hilarious geeky one-line jokes. There are too many jokes! She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ’Take what you want!’” The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice. 21 witty one liners so good you’ll laugh out loud, 10 funny but stupid jokes that’ll make your children howl laughing, 5 of the funniest jokes you’ll read today or any day, Short Story Jokes: Here are 5 more to brighten your day, 25 funny facts to entertain and amuse you, 37 funny comebacks for dealing with rude people, 10 humor quotes to make you think and make you smile, 21 very corny jokes that will cheer you up guaranteed, 10 silly jokes guaranteed to make you laugh, 10 hilarious jokes that will certainly make you laugh, 15 Quotes by Buddha that’ll make you think, 21 thought-provoking quotes about friendship, 3 hilarious short story jokes guaranteed to raise a smile. 97 of them, in fact! They are very click-y. It’s virtually impossible to confirm their origins or their authors, but should anyone be able to advise then please do let me know. 80 Jokes for Computer Nerds and the Rest of Us My computer jokes are grouped into 12, yes 12, sections on this page. I myself was a bit of a nerd and hey I’m fine today. Post Cancel. They haven’t had a gig yet. So, I have a story about a wise old computing nerd and his new technological apprentice. Don't worry honey, they call … Why is it hard to make friends with computer nerds? How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb? 21 Jokes Only Nerds Will Understand. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum. 889. Some helium floats into a bar. You Know You're Addicted to the Net When 1) All of your friends have @ in their names Who is a computer’s favorite singer? Protons have mass? See TOP 10 IT one liners. How do you know the moon is going broke? An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. I dedicate these nerd jokes to all the nerds out there. The bartender says “Sorry, we … Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.” A SEO couple had twins. 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